Heart broken

So we have this amazing house help who sometimes fills in as a nanny for Olive- when I go to work, she comes with and takes care of O.

She is great at what she does, she’s the type of person that takes initiative and doesn’t really need to be told anything, I’m super happy with everything she does. Most importantly she gets along really well with O, O loves her to bits which makes me super happy! Every morning when I Open up for our househelp O gets super excited and can’t wait to play with her, it really makes me feel good knowing that O loves her and is happy with her. I feel great knowing that O will grow up with someone that she really loves.(Hopefully)

Today however, I’ve left O hanging around with her because I have so much work to catch up on that I just can not manage looking after O as well as finish this all up, on a break I went to take O and as I was taking her away to do something she cried and wanted to go back to our awesome house help. This actually just broke my heart- Never in my life, or rather in O’s life has she ever wanted someone more than she wants me, never have I ever thought that she would like someone more than me. Logically I know that O loves me and was having a great time playing with our househelp and didn’t want to be taken away but secretly I have this deep fear that she will start loving her more than she loves me and that kind of makes me want to stop work all together and not have to have a nanny so that I can be with O 100% of the time which means she will love me more than anyone…doesn’t it?

I don’t know….this has really made me feel super emotional, have any of you other parents felt this way?

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Wanjiru says:

    Haha I think all working mums have this moment in their lives. I had this fear as well with my help,they got along so well with my son who is now 2 1/2 years old and it honestly scared me and I just could not admit it. I was Jealous AF!!!! Then one day my son had a cold and I had to go back home from work and he wanted no one else to hold him but me..that was just what I needed to remind me am his mother and always will be and he knows it and needs only me when he is down. 🙂

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  2. I had this feeling also!

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  3. I get that same feeling when i get home and my 6 months old son just looks at me and continues to play with his nanny,at first he would get so excited in seeing me but now he is so used to his nanny that me being home, only later in the day is normal to him,same as you i get so jealous AF, but i try to spend a lot of time with him while am at home and I know that HE knows that am his person,they understand that I know there is a bond that you have with her that no one else has…

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  4. Cynthia says:

    One day i overheard some work.ates describing how going to work is just a pain coz all their babies cry and was like what.
    One of them then asked me haiya C your baby does not cry when you leave …..now im panicking and replaying so many scenarios in my mind like once she wasn’t feeling well and she asked for the nanny now at this point im about ready to quit my job and raise her then i realised she needs to see a mummy who works 😞 and i should appreciate a nanny who loves my child to that extent

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  5. Abby striker says:

    Hey dear, yeah i have experienced the same too, my boy ethan is 9months, very active and wants to play all the time, i felt so bad too that one time when he cried for lily (the nany) and wanted to go outside with her..i talked to my boyfriend about it but he encouraged me and told me, no one will take your place in ethans heart..he knows that i am his mumy.. so i figured out he knows when lily goes out its time to play thats why he cried for him..but i also took a causion because the more they spend time together the more their bond grows, which is fine, but i dont want my son to have more affection with anyone else more than me..so i make sure i spend so much time with him and i do special things with him, like no one bath him except me..reading story..cuddling at night etc, so that he knows my place as a mother in his life..you can do the same for olive, just make sure there are some few stuffs that only you and her do..i thought the same..of quiting school for one year. But that wasnt an option..but anyway, its part of motherhood, we have to share our baby’s love with other people. Thanks

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  6. Mama Muthoni says:

    Muthoni used to be so excited when she saw the nanny. She’d literally leap in joy and thrust her whole body towards her as she screamed. I was so jealous. But I realised its coz Muthoni is the nannies job. So she gives her 100% attention. They make so much noise in the house and that’s what baby’s like. play. So what I decided to do is if I have her no distractions, no phone no laptop. just me and her. I also sing to her and play with her each chance I get even if I’m working and I’m taking a 2min bathtoom.break. Now she gets more excited about me. Feels amazing

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  7. Ian k says:

    My dear Tatiana…i never once doubted that I was the most important person in yours and your sisters lives…not once. These are just moments.Have faith,never fear.

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  8. This is so relatable though on different levels.Am a single mum to a beautiful 19mnth old baby.Since am struggling to male ends meet,baby Nalah stays with my parents all the way in Eldy while I work in Nbi.I travel every 3weeks and as much as she knows am ‘mum’ she sometimes just wants my mum or dad-this is rare but very heartbreaking.I wouldn’t want anyone else raising Nalah besides my folks though.I believe 2018 is my year,when I will get a better paying job and afford a housegirl and a better – condusive living situation for baby Nalah and I.

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